Directed By: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Written By: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore, Tony Danza, Glenne Headley
Running Time: 90 minutes
Premise: A New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love.
Written By: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore, Tony Danza, Glenne Headley
Running Time: 90 minutes
Premise: A New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love.
Why You Should See It
With a unique take on modern relationships and the power of media, Don Jon tries to inform the masses how to be satisfied in a relationship while living in a world where instant gratification is a click away.
With a unique take on modern relationships and the power of media, Don Jon tries to inform the masses how to be satisfied in a relationship while living in a world where instant gratification is a click away.
Synopsis
Jon Martello is a modern day Don Juan, with a short list of things he cares about: "my body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, my porn". He has an active sex life, but is more satisfied by pornography.
On a night out with his two best friends, Bobby and Danny, Jon sees Barbara Sugarman, and although she finds him interesting he fails to pick her up for a one-night stand. He finds her on Facebook, and asks her to lunch. The attraction is mutual, but Barbara insists on a traditional long-term courtship, which proceeds for over a month without sex. She encourages him to take night classes to get an office job outside the service industry, and Jon indulges her love for romance movies, which he usually dismisses as unrealistic fantasy. They meet each other's families and Jon's parents immediately love her.
Finally, the two have sex, but Jon is still dissatisfied. He admits the sex was decent and her body was perfect, but still felt something was missing. He gets up, while Barbara sleeps, to watch pornography. Barbara catches him and is shocked that he would do such a thing. Jon denies that he watches pornography and claims it was a sick joke emailed to him by a friend.
Their relationship resumes, with Jon continuing to watch pornography, but doing so primarily outside his apartment, where Barbara is often around. He is caught watching a video on his cell phone before a class by Esther, a middle-aged woman who attempts to apologize for an earlier awkward incident in which Jon encountered her weeping by herself at the college. Jon politely brushes her off. Barbara continues to assert control over him, insisting that cleaning his own apartment—a task Jon finds personally satisfying—is not manly. One night, she looks at the browser history on his computer, confronts him with proof that he has been continuing to compulsively watch pornography, and ends their relationship.
Jon Martello is a modern day Don Juan, with a short list of things he cares about: "my body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, my porn". He has an active sex life, but is more satisfied by pornography.
On a night out with his two best friends, Bobby and Danny, Jon sees Barbara Sugarman, and although she finds him interesting he fails to pick her up for a one-night stand. He finds her on Facebook, and asks her to lunch. The attraction is mutual, but Barbara insists on a traditional long-term courtship, which proceeds for over a month without sex. She encourages him to take night classes to get an office job outside the service industry, and Jon indulges her love for romance movies, which he usually dismisses as unrealistic fantasy. They meet each other's families and Jon's parents immediately love her.
Finally, the two have sex, but Jon is still dissatisfied. He admits the sex was decent and her body was perfect, but still felt something was missing. He gets up, while Barbara sleeps, to watch pornography. Barbara catches him and is shocked that he would do such a thing. Jon denies that he watches pornography and claims it was a sick joke emailed to him by a friend.
Their relationship resumes, with Jon continuing to watch pornography, but doing so primarily outside his apartment, where Barbara is often around. He is caught watching a video on his cell phone before a class by Esther, a middle-aged woman who attempts to apologize for an earlier awkward incident in which Jon encountered her weeping by herself at the college. Jon politely brushes her off. Barbara continues to assert control over him, insisting that cleaning his own apartment—a task Jon finds personally satisfying—is not manly. One night, she looks at the browser history on his computer, confronts him with proof that he has been continuing to compulsively watch pornography, and ends their relationship.
Jon tries to return to his old lifestyle, but it's not the same. Esther continues to reach out to Jon, trying to offer him the benefit of her experience. She reveals to Jon that the reason why he doesn't seem to have the same fun he has watching pornography while having sex, is because pornography is a one-sided affair, and if he wants to have sex that's better than pornography, he has to be willing to lose himself to another person, and she has to be willing to lose herself to him, calling it "a two-way street." She lends him an erotic video that she believes has a more realistic depiction of sexual relations. He responds by initiating a sexual encounter in her parked car. She persuades him to try masturbating without pornography, but he is unable to. She invites him to her home, where she reveals that her husband and son had died in a car crash 14 months before. She counsels him further about the need for sex to be a mutual experience, and with her, Jon finally has an emotional connection sex that doesn't leave him restless to watch pornography.
Jon's weekly confessional tallying his one-night stands and pornography sessions is replaced by one in which he proudly reports abstinence from pornography and just the one instance of fornication, which he describes as being more like making love. He tells his parents about the break-up with Barbara, and they are devastated. His sister Monica breaks her silence, saying that Barbara never cared about Jon, and was using him to live out her romance movie fantasy.
Jon asks to meet with Barbara and apologizes for lying to her about the pornography. Barbara says she asked one thing of him, and he failed. Jon replies she asked many things of him, and just couldn't keep up with her expectations. She says goodbye, and tells him to never contact her again.
Esther becomes Jon's girlfiend, and even though neither has any interest in getting married anytime soon, and denies he is in love, but believes he really understands her and they can get emotionally lost in each other.
Jon's weekly confessional tallying his one-night stands and pornography sessions is replaced by one in which he proudly reports abstinence from pornography and just the one instance of fornication, which he describes as being more like making love. He tells his parents about the break-up with Barbara, and they are devastated. His sister Monica breaks her silence, saying that Barbara never cared about Jon, and was using him to live out her romance movie fantasy.
Jon asks to meet with Barbara and apologizes for lying to her about the pornography. Barbara says she asked one thing of him, and he failed. Jon replies she asked many things of him, and just couldn't keep up with her expectations. She says goodbye, and tells him to never contact her again.
Esther becomes Jon's girlfiend, and even though neither has any interest in getting married anytime soon, and denies he is in love, but believes he really understands her and they can get emotionally lost in each other.
Character Analysis
Jon Martello
The movie opens with various examples of the media objectifying women in commercials, TV shows, and movies. Jon does the exact same thing when he rates women at the club and brags to his buddies when he sleeps with them. The most glaring scenario of this occurs when he calls Barbara ‘the most beautiful THING (not woman) he has ever seen’.
When he doesn't get Barbara to go home with him, he sleeps with another girl but he is not satisfied so he watches porn. He develops this idea that if he has sex with extremely attractive girls, he won’t have to use his computer to be satisfied. Seeing Barbara as a solution to this dilemma, he decides to set up lunch. Unfortunately, he never got her name at the club because all he cared about was taking her home. After they meet each others’ families and Jon enrolls in night classes (at Barbara’s behest), Jon finally sleeps with Barbara but still isn't fulfilled. Since the women never meet Jon’s expectations, he is constantly irritable. Throughout most of the film, Jon displays road rage ( even breaks another guy’s window with his hand) and argues with his dad.
Jon swears that he doesn't have a porn addiction, but he hates the fact that he can’t watch porn since his girlfriend is always at his place. This leads to Esther catching him watching dirty videos on his phone at night school. Once Jon is willing to listen to Esther, he learns that a relationship must benefit both parties, but he only seeks gratification for himself. There wasn't any intimacy in his relationships with other women which is why there was no connection.
After Jon becomes truly intimate with Esther, his entire attitude and outlook change. Instead of yelling at other people on the road, he just bobs his head to the radio. He ditches the tight clothes and hair gel. Jon even leaves the club scene to hang out with his boys, and he notes that a girl may look like an ‘eight’, but their rating is truly based on their personality.
Later, Jon gets a little closure when he formally apologizes to Barbara, but he still remarks that Barbara wanted a one-sided relationship just like he did at the time.
The movie opens with various examples of the media objectifying women in commercials, TV shows, and movies. Jon does the exact same thing when he rates women at the club and brags to his buddies when he sleeps with them. The most glaring scenario of this occurs when he calls Barbara ‘the most beautiful THING (not woman) he has ever seen’.
When he doesn't get Barbara to go home with him, he sleeps with another girl but he is not satisfied so he watches porn. He develops this idea that if he has sex with extremely attractive girls, he won’t have to use his computer to be satisfied. Seeing Barbara as a solution to this dilemma, he decides to set up lunch. Unfortunately, he never got her name at the club because all he cared about was taking her home. After they meet each others’ families and Jon enrolls in night classes (at Barbara’s behest), Jon finally sleeps with Barbara but still isn't fulfilled. Since the women never meet Jon’s expectations, he is constantly irritable. Throughout most of the film, Jon displays road rage ( even breaks another guy’s window with his hand) and argues with his dad.
Jon swears that he doesn't have a porn addiction, but he hates the fact that he can’t watch porn since his girlfriend is always at his place. This leads to Esther catching him watching dirty videos on his phone at night school. Once Jon is willing to listen to Esther, he learns that a relationship must benefit both parties, but he only seeks gratification for himself. There wasn't any intimacy in his relationships with other women which is why there was no connection.
After Jon becomes truly intimate with Esther, his entire attitude and outlook change. Instead of yelling at other people on the road, he just bobs his head to the radio. He ditches the tight clothes and hair gel. Jon even leaves the club scene to hang out with his boys, and he notes that a girl may look like an ‘eight’, but their rating is truly based on their personality.
Later, Jon gets a little closure when he formally apologizes to Barbara, but he still remarks that Barbara wanted a one-sided relationship just like he did at the time.
Barbara Sugarman
Barbara is almost like a child in the way she admires and tries to emulate romantic movies in her relationships. Before she and Jon have sex, Barbara wants to meet Jon’s friends and family and wants Jon to take night classes to get out of the service industry. In the movies, the guy will do everything to make the girl happy and get the girl back. Barbara stresses that a “real” man will do anything for a woman that he loves. This is complete crap because her idea of a “real” man comes from works of fiction. A relationship moves forward and progresses when a couple makes compromises to strengthen the bond. She just wants a man she can boss around.
Barbara is almost like a child in the way she admires and tries to emulate romantic movies in her relationships. Before she and Jon have sex, Barbara wants to meet Jon’s friends and family and wants Jon to take night classes to get out of the service industry. In the movies, the guy will do everything to make the girl happy and get the girl back. Barbara stresses that a “real” man will do anything for a woman that he loves. This is complete crap because her idea of a “real” man comes from works of fiction. A relationship moves forward and progresses when a couple makes compromises to strengthen the bond. She just wants a man she can boss around.
Themes - Manhood and Relationships
Initially, Jon Martello believes that hooking up with girls at nightclubs is an accurate gauge of his manhood - more girls equals being more of a man. Barbara does help Jon shake this misconception but she just substitutes it with another one. Esther teaches Jon that every successful and meaningful relationship is a two-way street. Barbara and Jon weren’t compatible because both of them were unwilling to compromise. With Esther’s marital experience, Jon learns that the goal of a relationship is to bring out the best in two people who are in love.
Initially, Jon Martello believes that hooking up with girls at nightclubs is an accurate gauge of his manhood - more girls equals being more of a man. Barbara does help Jon shake this misconception but she just substitutes it with another one. Esther teaches Jon that every successful and meaningful relationship is a two-way street. Barbara and Jon weren’t compatible because both of them were unwilling to compromise. With Esther’s marital experience, Jon learns that the goal of a relationship is to bring out the best in two people who are in love.
Applying Aristotle's Poetics
Hamartia (flaw) - Jon's flaw is his selfishness. He wants to be pleased and satisfied, but he doesn't care whether his partner feels the same or not.
Anagnorisis (critical discovery) - This occurs when Barbara looks at Jon's web history on his laptop and sees that he lied to her about watching porn.
Peripeteia (reversal of circumstances) - When Jon decides to listen to Esther's advice about relationships, Jon changes his lifestyle and is genuinely happy with Esther as his girlfriend.
Catharsis (purgation of the audience - closure) - Jon realizes that the break up between him and Barbara was not entirely his fault and he lets Barbara know that after he apologizes for lying to her.
Hamartia (flaw) - Jon's flaw is his selfishness. He wants to be pleased and satisfied, but he doesn't care whether his partner feels the same or not.
Anagnorisis (critical discovery) - This occurs when Barbara looks at Jon's web history on his laptop and sees that he lied to her about watching porn.
Peripeteia (reversal of circumstances) - When Jon decides to listen to Esther's advice about relationships, Jon changes his lifestyle and is genuinely happy with Esther as his girlfriend.
Catharsis (purgation of the audience - closure) - Jon realizes that the break up between him and Barbara was not entirely his fault and he lets Barbara know that after he apologizes for lying to her.